1991 Jaguar XJ6 3.2

“Oh, what a ******* day”

“The ******* Storm”

“Peter ******* and Penelope Pitstop”

“Practice makes *******”

There are some words we can’t say. They’re not allowed in our business. They suggest levels of excellence and, er, *******ion, that can rarely if ever be backed up.

But this Japanese import 1991 Jaguar XJ6 3.2 Saloon is about as near as we’ll let ourselves get to using the word ******* outside the realms of concours condition cars.

It is, quite frankly, extraordinary.

This 30 year-old car has covered just 12,995 miles. Looking at it - outside, inside, underneath, mechanically, aesthetically - you’d think it was still being run in.

How has it managed to stay in this phenomenal condition for so long?

Because it’s had one owner and it has spent its entire life in Japan.

We mention that because, well, it matters. It may be something of a cliché to talk about the roll of ‘honour’ in Japanese society and culture. But it’s no exaggeration to say that this tradition is alive and well in the Japanese motor trade, where there is no place for Trotter-san or Daley-san.

This is a world in which mechanics are assiduously diligent in their work, dealers are scrupulously honest in their valuations, and owners take OCD levels of pride in the care and attention they lavish upon their cars.

We’re told that the car has always been garaged from new.

Hmmm. We’re sceptical about that.

We think it’s always been kept in the living room, up to its wheel nuts in shag-pile in front of the TV.

Wherever you look - Dorchester grey metallic paintwork, Savile grey leather, Cheviot tweed - it is totally authentic and original. This car looks, feels, smells, goes, stops, handles and rides like it’s never been used. It’s really quite spooky.

Aside from one or two very minor issues, everything about this car is remarkable even for its low mileage, never mind its age.

We have been assured by the vendor that this car comes with a full service history to cover its years in Japan. The documents are photographed and in the gallery.

Surprisingly, our mastery of the Japanese language has proved unequal to the task of deciphering them. You may fare better.

The wholly original paintwork and finish are in very good condition and have a real depth of shine and lustre. The panels and shut lines are clean, even and free from any dinks, creases or evidence of rust.

There are no scuffs on the bumpers or evidence of stone chips or other nicks and scrapes. There isn’t even any road rash to speak of on the valances or below the sills.

The wheels are unmarked. The matching Bridgestone tyres are new. The chrome work is shiny. Even the chrome strips on top of the bumpers, which distort in protest on XJ40s if they so much as suspect you might be considering bumping into anything, are spirit-level flat and pristine.

It is impossible for us ever to declare a steel car as rust free. However, this is possibly as close as we have seen.

The only perceptible flaws - and they’re only just perceptible - are two or three tiny patches on the bonnet that look as if the lacquer has been slightly challenged. By what, we know not. Plus, there are two tiny stains on the drivers' side sill kick plate, picky eh?

Perhaps a bit too much rising sun? Maybe a Little Bustard with an unfortunate gastric condition? Hard to say.

But that’s it. Everything else is pretty much *******.

It’s all in quite exceptional condition. The leather and tweed upholstery is unmarked and as fresh as the day it left the factory. The seats are supportive and comfortable. They have retained their full 8-way electrical functionality. Of course they have. The rear seats have leather headrests.

It even smells good in there, which may in part be due to the strange pouches of gel we found under the seats. Well, we think they’re gel. The Japanese writing on these pouches neither confirms nor challenges our assumption that these are either some kind of fabric freshener or a sort of magical ectoplasm that keeps cars in showroom condition for the rest of their lives. Either way, the fact that this car has never played host to either smokers or pets is good to know in a car with fabric seat inserts.

The door cards are immaculate as are the carpets and mats. Everything electrical works as intended. The wood veneers on the dashboard and around the J-gate ‘Randle Handle’ auto-box selector on the centre console are splendidly opulent and unfaded. The headlining is brand new and looks it.

It’s the same story of pristine loveliness in the rear and in the boot, which is home to an unused spare tyre and an unused toolkit.

The only fault we can find is a crack in the seatbelt anchor’s plastic cover on the driver’s side.

You’ll need to invest in a gizmo to enable the aftermarket Japanese ICE head unit to pick up UK radio channels. This, we’re told, won’t set you back very much at all.

The only quirky thing we’ve noticed (aside from the under-seat ectoplasm/gel pouches) is the small red emergency flare clipped into the side of the passenger footwell. These are mandatory in Japan but are usually removed before imports arrive on these shores. Its presence is yet another testament to this car’s authenticity.

So, too, is the fact that the rear, high-level brake light is propped up in place by a plastic lid from, we think, a paint aerosol. Anyone who has ever owned an XJ40 can tell you that the adhesive on the high-level brake lights fails before you’ve got the car out of the showroom and you’ll spend the rest of your ownership years finding increasingly desperate and bizarre ways to keep the wretched thing in place. Our Japanese friend seems to have found the perfect, unobtrusive answer.

The vendor has replaced the speedo dial face with one that tells the score in mph, not kmph.

This car is a Japanese import. This tells us two things.

Firstly, that it comes from a country where people tend to take pride in their cars and usually spend a great deal of time and effort cossetting them and making sure no harm comes to them.

Secondly, that it comes from a country where salt is thrown over the shoulders of sumo wrestlers, not chucked all over the roads in industrial quantities like it is in the UK.

Ergo, Japanese imports almost always have undersides with less corrosion than their British counterparts. And that’s very much the case here.

The engine bay is in equally fine fettle, with everything clean and tidy and in its right and proper place. The engine looks pretty much showroom fresh. You could eat your sushi off it.

The vendor has recently replaced the suspension bushes.

The car has an MOT - with no advisories - until 6.4.21. It comes with a box of service records from new, 2 sets of keys and all the proper handbooks and manuals. These may prove less than interesting reading if your mastery of the Japanese language doesn’t quite cut the mustard.

Please visit the documents section of the gallery of this listing where you will find photos and paperwork to support our claim that this car has been maintained to a very good standard.

If you’d like to inspect the car prior to placing a bid – something we would encourage – then please use the Contact Seller button to arrange an appointment.

And please be reassured, we’ve undertaken a full COVID-assessment and put into place strict control measure to enable us to safely facilitate a no-contact, socially distanced viewing that includes disinfection of the vehicle before and after your viewing.

However, if you’d rather not come to see the car in person, please give us a call and we can shoot a personal video of the car honing in on any areas you’d like us to concentrate on.

Or, even better, why not contact us with your mobile number and we can set up a WhatsApp video call? You get to direct us in real-time, giving you a virtual personal viewing experience while maintaining the lockdown. We like to call it ‘The Market’s 2020 Vision’…

We think this XJ40 must keep a portrait of a decrepit, rapidly ageing, rot-bucket, banger version of itself in a Japanese attic somewhere. This might just be the Jaguar of Dorian Gray-san.

We’ll happily eat our collective hats if anyone shows us a better example of a 30 year-old XJ40 any time soon.

The mileage is ridiculously low, the condition is exceptional and, being a Japanese import, its only encounter with salt will have come when accidentally driving over a bag of crisps.

We’d be very surprised to learn that there’s another XJ40 with this kind of mileage and condition for sale anywhere in the UK today.

We’re confident to offer this vehicle for auction with no reserve and an estimate in the range of £8,000 - £14,000.

Viewing is always encouraged, and this particular car is located with us at The Market HQ near Abingdon; to arrange an appointment please use the Contact Seller button at the top of the listing. Feel free to ask any questions or make observations in the comments section below, or try our ‘Frequently Asked Questions’.