2006 Vauxhall Monaro VXR 500

Still in the care of its one and only keeper, ‘M500 HSV’ is a Phantom Black Vauxhall Monaro VXR 500. Fully spec’d, the original invoice from Greens of Holborough shows he paid extra for AP racing brakes, a cat-back exhaust system, a Rip Shift – and £5,000 for that 500 Pack.

Which makes it one of only a handful made (official estimates vary between fourteen and eighteen, with the seller having been told sixteen) the changes  lifted the performance to 185mph after passing 62mph in 4.9 seconds – and all accompanied by the sort of soundtrack the director of Apocalypse Now would have killed for.

The seller watched Fifth Gear review it when it was first released (“Let’s face it, it does 75mph in 1st gear, which means the other gears are just there to decide how angry the police are going to be with you” Tom Ford, wearing a nappy) and was so entranced he phoned Greens the next day to order one. 

Carefully used and constantly fettled since, it still shows just 24,000 miles on the clock. However, all good things must come to an end and he feels that now is the time to let it go.

The even better news is that the need for a service and MoT is reflected in the guide price, which means that if you have been eyeing Lotus Carltons but are deterred by their price, we’ve got some good news for you…

You’ll probably be bored of us saying by now but black is a helluva tough act to carry off; it’s great when a car is new but when – and it is a case of ‘when’ not ‘if’ – it picks up the inevitable dinks and chips that are part and parcel of 21st century driving, no other colour is as ruthless in highlighting them.

But, given the VXR 500’s mission statement, Phantom Black was the obvious choice – and the good news is that it looks every bit as good now as it ever did thanks to that low mileage and one-owner-from-new curation. 

This means no dents or scratches. No scuffs either, just straight, beautifully aligned panels that make themselves known by way of laser-etched shutlines.  The mesh grilles inside the bonnet scoop and underneath the front bumper are all in great shape too with no damage or distortion.

There’s not much to distinguish the VXR 500 from lesser models (and let’s face it, every other one is…) bar the badging on the boot, which is as extensive as it is easily removable.

The lamp lenses, including the distinctive central rear fog lamp, are all bright and free of chips and scratches.

As for the five-double-spoke alloy wheels, they’re in fine fettle and are free of the sort of kerbing scrapes and scuffs that betray a poor driver – but then no bad driver is every going to choose to put themselves behind the wheel of a 500bhp supersaloon, are they?

Their open design also demonstrates that the seller wisely paid the extra £2595 to have Greens fit its full-fat AP Racing brake conversion, which comprises grooved and drilled 363mm brake discs at the front and slightly smaller 330mm ones on the rear. These are clamped by six- and four-pot brake calipers respectively, which we would have thought would have been enough to bring even the mighty VXR 500 to a rapid halt even from the intergalactic speeds it’s capable of. 

In fact, they did – but they also warped, something even the manufacturers couldn’t resolve, so he dug deep into his wallet and imported some even better ones from Australia, of which more anon.

The rubber that’s fitted to them is Yokohama Advan Sport on all four corners, and all have a date stamp of 2022. We will never get tired of telling you that experience shows that matching high-quality tyres are an infallible sign of a caring and mechanically sympathetic owner who is prepared to spend the appropriate amount in maintaining their car properly. 

Which means the only signs of aging worth pointing out are the exhaust tailpipes, which are ever-so-slightly rusty, and the nearside rear wheel that has some stonechips. 

The plastic door handles also have some flaking paint, but this is very much a Holden thing and is unavoidable, no matter how fastidiously you care for it.  

The Midnight Black leather interior, with its contrasting white stitching, might be somewhat unremarkable in design but we don’t mind that because a) the money has gone into engineering rather than marketing department-mandated fripperies, and b) it’s still in a staggeringly good condition for a car that’s sneaking up on its 20th birthday.

The front seats get the job done though by dint of being heavily sculpted and bolstered, a design that holds you tightly against the sort of high-G shenanigans the VXR is capable of. Electrically adjustable, they’re very comfortable and have survived the passage of 24,000 miles with the ease you’d expect of a one-owner car.

This means no cracks or even heavy creases, just supple and smooth leather that glides fore and aft at the press of a button as effortlessly as they always have.

Of course, the two individual rear seats are in an even better condition. They also provide plenty of leg- and shoulder room, making this a very usable family car – and there aren’t family cars that could accommodate two full-size adults in the back in complete comfort and still top three miles a minute.

The dashboard, door cards, headlining, and carpets are all excellent too. The lettering on the Monaro’s switches and controls is bright and vibrant, and the thick-rimmed steering wheel is joined by three alloy pedals and a meaty gearknob in making the budding racing driver feel at home.

Other niceties include still-taut elasticated pockets in the back of the front seats, HSV overmats, and very of-the-period pop-out cupholders.

Toys include cruise control, climate control, rear parking assistance, automatic headlights, a Blaupunkt stereo with six-disc autochanger, and an aftermarket Parrot Bluetooth device. 

The boot is as clean as it is vast, and even still features an unopened fire extinguisher. Other tenants include a space-saver spare wheel.

Constantly fettled throughout its life, the fact it’s had just the one service doesn’t begin to reflect his commitment and investment the seller has made in keeping it running sweetly. 

For example, the service in April 2013 and 20,555 miles by Monkfish Performance included a new and uprated LS7 clutch kit, front brake pads, some suspension bearings and mounts, and a geometry session.

As we mentioned earlier, the original AP Racing brake discs warped, and when AP itself couldn’t solve it the seller didn’t mess around; he simply imported a set of heavy-duty discs and pads from Australia. These sorted the problem and have been “bulletproof.”

New braided brake hoses were fitted at the same time and other significant work in recent times includes new belts for the supercharger.

As you can see, the supercharged V8 engine fires into life with enthusiasm, idles with good oil pressure and a healthy 14-volts, and revs like a demon thanks to the Harrop HH112 supercharger. 

Evo magazine was full of praise for the £960 ‘cat-back’ Stage One exhaust system that’s fitted to this one, and if you sit back and turn your volume up to eleven, you’ll be able to hear why.

The engine bay is a bit grubby and would benefit from a professional detail, although it is in good shape under the thin veneer of road grime with only a modest amount of light surface rust on some of the steel fasteners and components.

Many of the components underneath have a decent coating of rust on them, although it looks cosmetic still at this stage rather than anything more serious. 

The floorpan looks like it still has a good covering of underseal though, and while its MoT ran out in June of last year, no MoT tester had ever mentioned structural corrosion up to that point, so sorting it out probably won’t mean anything more invasive than a wire brush. 

NB: the highly appropriate numberplate ‘M500 HSV’ will be staying with the car.

The Monaro doesn’t have a current MoT certificate but given the previous four were issued with no advisories and the last one only expired in June 2024, getting a new ticket might not be too much of an ordeal.

The recent Vehicle History Check is clear, and it is being offered with two keys, a V5 in the seller’s name, the original sales invoice from Greens of Holborough, the Monaro book pack and wallet, and a bunch of invoices for servicing and repairs. 

Those of us who missed being able to buy a Lotus Carlton for sensible money have spent the past decade bemoaning our lack of foresight. 

If you are one of that number, then this is the car for you. 

Even faster and more capable than its spiritual father, the Monaro VXR 500 is the sort of car we are all going to miss in future decades: Loud, fast, and brutal, there are few more anti-social ways to shift four people around sideways.

And yet, like the Lotus Carlton, buying the wrong car exposes you to a whole world of hurt, which is why you need to tread carefully. What you really need is an enthusiast-owned car with a verifiable low mileage and a flawless service and maintenance record. 

As for our estimate, when it was new Evo magazine said it offered “BMW M6 poke for BMW 335d cash”, which is a statement that applies even today because we’re predicting the virtual hammer will fall somewhere between £30,000 and £35,000, which is peanuts for the performance and fun that unlocks – and is about the same sort of figure the Lotus Carlton was fetching a decade ago...

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