2023 BMW F95 X5 M Competition

This car isn’t being sold by a vendor as such. And although it has a V5 and an HPI report, it doesn’t come with any kind of history.

The reason is that it has been re-possessed and is being sold by an administrator on the authority of the DVLA.

With just 7,203 miles on the clock, the mighty engine has yet to clear its throat, relatively speaking, and everything – inside, outside and underneath – looks and feels squeaky clean and minty fresh.

We have driven it and can attest to its seemingly endless reserves of brutal power, its all-round capability and competence, and its ability to make a noise that sounds like Mastodons bellowing to each other across a primeval swamp.

Along with all the ‘standard’ Competition-spec options (of which there are a great many) this highly spec’d example also comes with:

• Full Panoramic roof
• ‘Comfort Plus’ pack – a £3,500 option
• ‘Technology Plus’ pack – a £4,750 option that includes a 1500-watt Bowers & Wilkins Diamond surround sound system
• Rear side-window blinds
• Front massage seats
• Heated/chilled cup holders
• ‘Extended Storage Contents’ option - £860
• ….and all manner of other bits and pieces too numerous to list.

Presented in the very striking shade of metallic ‘Isle of Man Green’, this is a vehicle with undeniable presence and head-turning looks.

And if you don’t see it coming, you’ll certainly hear it.

Mercy.

The bodywork is totally straight and true, and there are no dimples, dinks or dents of any note anywhere that we can see.

The panel gaps and shut-lines have all the precision and consistency you’d expect to find on a vehicle of this quality (and cost).

Everything is in pretty much pristine condition, save for one or two relatively minor cosmetic exceptions.

There are a few stone chips and a couple of light scratches on the bonnet.

Evidence of kerbing is visible on all four wheels.

There are some nicks and flaps of rubber to be found on the matching Michelin Pilot Sport 4S tyres, the front two of which are getting a little low on tread.

The lights, lenses, badging and other exterior fixtures and fittings are in fine order.

The interior is every bit a match for its exterior counterpart in terms of quality and condition.

The ‘Technology Plus’ pack adds yet more functionality and electronic wizardry to what is a hugely impressive array of options to start with.

We know that the seats are heated and that those in the front have a massage function.

We also know that they can be made to bend forward from about half-way up the backrest in the manner of a cobra readying for a strike. That’s a new one for us.

We don’t have a spec sheet for this car, but we wouldn’t be surprised if the seats can also be programmed to check your blood-sugar levels, teach you elementary Japanese and give you a quick rub down with a warm flannel.

The rest of the interior is as you’d expect to find in a nearly new car with such a low mileage.

Consequently, the headlining, door cards, carpets and mats are all beyond reproach.

So too is the luggage bay.

We were particularly taken by the fact that the boot floor lifts up with dampened assistance from its very own hydraulic strut; very much a First World solution to something that no-one knew was a problem.

All controls, dials, buttons and levers seem fine.

We don’t currently have the PIN codes for the Infotainment and on-board computer systems, so we can’t vouch for the functionality of everything it has to offer.

We may or may not be given access to these codes and, if we don’t, you’ll need to pay a visit to your local BMW main dealer to get a PIN reset.

The very full engine bay is clean, shiny, dry and tidy.

In addition to the mahoosive 617bhp V8 the car puts a small tick in the environmental box with its 48V MHEV (mild hybrid) technology.

The undersides of the car, although largely hidden from sight under protective trays and covers, look to have all the structural integrity you’d hope and expect to find on a car that still has fond and recent memories of the showroom.

The fact that it has no history shouldn’t perhaps be too concerning, as the car hasn’t yet qualified for its first MoT (that’ll be due on 31.8.26) and any service or maintenance history will be logged digitally.

That said, unless we hear otherwise and are furnished with the current PIN numbers, accessing that digital history might require a trip to a BMW main dealer to get a PIN reset on the Infotainment, onboard computer and other systems.

It comes with a V5, a recent HPI report, two proximity sensor keys, and an M-Series Digital Key. 

As you can see the Reg number LV73 YCC is on the current V5c. The car currently is without any registration plates therefore the new owner will need to provide plates before driving the car away. 

This is an absolute beast of a car and it comes with more tricks up its sleeve than Paul Daniels.

Dynamically, it does things you wouldn’t think possible in something this big and bulky.

Aesthetically, people will stop and stare when your drive past.

Aurally, those of a nervous disposition will fall to their knees and make the sign of the cross when they hear you coming.

This, then, is a whole lot of car and, we suspect, you might be able to take it home for rather less than the whole lot of money it cost new.

We are happy to offer this car for auction with an estimate in the range of £70,000 - £80,000.

Viewing is strongly encouraged, and this lot is located at Bonhams|Cars Online HQ. Viewings are STRICTLY BY APPOINTMENT and we are open weekdays between 10am- 12pm or 2pm-4pm. To make a booking, please use the Contact Seller button at the top of the listing. Feel free to ask any questions or make observations in the comments section below, and read our ‘Frequently Asked Questions’.